When Abigail* was referred to the Winch by her Home-Start support worker, she wasn’t sure if a parenting course was what she needed. “She said it would be good for my mental health, to meet new people and get out of the house. Otherwise, I’d just be stuck at home.”
At the time, Abigail was quietly carrying more than most could imagine. Her daughter Hope*, nearly two, had already faced enormous challenges. She was born a twin, but her sister passed away ten days later. Shortly after, Hope underwent a leg amputation. On top of this, Abigail was living in a small flat in Camden with her mother-in-law, far from the rest of her own family in Croydon.
“I don’t really have friends or family nearby,” she said. “It can feel very isolating.”
Abigail, is also hard of hearing, and struggled with her confidence and mental health following a traumatic birth. The parenting course offered her much needed support and a break from being alone with everything she was holding. “I feel relaxed knowing my child can go to the creche for two hours. It gives me a bit of space.”
She didn’t expect to keep coming back. “At first I missed a few sessions, because of hospital appointments. But I’ve since completed the course, and I’ll be joining again in September.”
What brought Abigail back wasn’t just the practical support. It was the sense of connection, being around other mothers who, in different ways, understood what she was going through.
“When other mums talk about their experiences, I can relate, as their stories are similar to mine. It helps to know I’m not the only one.”
The parenting course helped Abigail step outside her comfort zone, and rebuild her confidence as a mother. “It’s made me push myself to be more confident and not feel ashamed,” she said. “I’m feeling better, but it will still take time.”
The sessions covered everything from setting boundaries and managing stress, to understanding child development and sharing experiences with other mums. Abigail began to see parenting in a new light, particularly the importance of self-care. “Vera and Page taught us how to first look after ourselves as mothers before we can really care for our children.”
Her daughter’s confidence has grown too, and losing her leg has not held Hope back. “She loves playing with other children in the creche.”
For Abigail, not all challenges have gone away. She’s been trying to get back into work, but it’s been difficult. “I haven’t had a proper job in about eight years. I’ve been applying, I’ve gone to interviews, but been unsuccessful.”
Even though everything hasn’t fallen into place yet, Abigail knows she is not alone. Through the parenting course, Abigail has learned not only to ask for support, but to stay when it’s offered. She continues to show up and look forward.
“I just want to do what’s best for my daughter,” she said. “The parenting course taught us it’s not about aiming for perfection, we’re aiming to be good enough.”
*name changed.